Blinded.

Since the past few years have been a bust with infertility, I am setting new goals for myself. I'll be the first to admit that I let myself go. Unfortunately though, the signs and symptoms of PCOS are my barriers - anxiety, weight gain, acne, irregular menstrual cycles and the lovely "excess hair growth"; all of which I have. Part of me is frustrated and wants to break down and cry, which I have done a lot of recently, but I know crying isn't getting me anywhere. Yes, I know, it's a normal emotion to feel. I just feel that getting emotional is just setting me back. It's time to have a new outlook and turn the negatives into positives. Have you ever let something get to you and bother you for days? Don't fool yourself, you know there's been a time - whether it's over money, a relationship, infertility, a job, school, etc. Even the feeling of being overwhelmed. It's times like these when your own psycho-social well-being needs to accept the emotions and have a plan to be able to manage your emotions the next time you become upset or when something bothers you.

Anxiety is something I struggle with the most. I have had anxiety probably since I was in high school. I would get so anxious over nothing to the point I would break out in a sweat and think I was going to pass out. I have learned to overcome some of the anxiety by doing the following:

• Exercise
• Take deep breaths
• Get a good nights rest
• Challenge the "What if" phrase
• Remain positive
• Stop drinking caffeinated drinks
• Talk out my feelings with someone who cares 

Ok, so what about the other symptoms of PCOS? Weight gain. For women, weight gain is such a self-esteem buster. Shopping for clothes has been the absolute worst. Thank god for leggings, boots, and big baggy shirts. Cute, right? Eating healthy is hard. I love to snack! Lately, I have altered my diet and cut out snacking. It has been the most difficult thing to do, but what I've learned is to stay busy. I don't allow myself the time to open the fridge or go to the pantry to "browse" because I'm bored. 

Next - Acne. As a teenager, acne is expected. As an adult, acne is not welcomed any longer. The phase in my life to get acne should have passed, but unfortunately it missed the memo. I have been going to a skin care clinic for laser hair removal for the excess hair growth that comes with PCOS, and they introduced me to a green tea fortified cleanser. It has done wonders to my face and prevented most pimples. I highly recommend it!

Lastly, irregular menstrual periods. I have had irregular periods since the time I got my period. Not very fun, considering you never know when it is going to pop up. Before I got married, I had taken a low dose birth control pill to help regulate my menses, which definitely helped with regulation and cramping. Now, however, I'm back to square one. Terrible cramps and irregular monthly cycles. My GYN started me on Clomid, which helped with ovulation. I took the Clear Blue smiley ovulation tests through the 3 rounds of Clomid and got smiley faces each time.. Still no baby. Now that I've been diagnosed with PCOS, my doctor thinks the Clomid dose wasn't strong enough. I'm excited to start more rounds of testing and a new fertility drug. 

I know PCOS has other symptoms, but the ones I listed above, just happen to be the symptoms that I am experiencing. Do you have any techniques that help you?

2016 is going to be the year to focus on myself, my attitude, new goals, and most importantly my health. I am a very goal oriented person. Over the next few days, I'm going to set some goals for myself and for my marriage. Any ideas?

Here's my advice to you. Don't be blinded of your own emotions, your loved one's emotions, or even a stranger's emotions. Sometimes we get so caught up in our daily routine that we don't get to focus on the people that need us the most, including ourselves. Take 15 minutes out of your daily routine to meditate, read the Bible, pray, or just ask your spouse how their day went. You never know what tomorrow may bring. Focus on today!

Love you all!