Reality sinking in.

Vacation mode. Yes, I’m still in vacation mode, even with being home from the beach for almost a week now. I can’t get my body to “come back to reality.” I guess the reason being, I started Ovidrel AKA trigger shot. Ouch! Scariest thing ever when your husband who is a construction laborer and not a nurse, thinks it’s humorous to “play nurse” while injecting a needle into my lower stomach! The shot causes fatigue and a whole lot of other symptoms I will avoid mentioning. I took a nap each day on vacation! I was so excited to have the chance to chill out and do whatever the heck I wanted! I must say, I had an awesome time with MY HUSBAND. Recently, going to the beach involves other people, which is no fun when you haven’t had a vacation alone with your hubby in over 5 years. I could go on and on, but I should probably stop and move on… Kill them with kindness and smile! Ok, enough.

Since treatments started, there hasn’t been a whole lot of “action” with visits to Shady Grove. I will make a trip next week to take a pregnancy test. Yes, you heard right, drive an hour to take a pregnancy test. I keep telling myself that it’s all going to be worth it in the end. God has a plan!

I have been following a family who has 3 biological boys and within the past few weeks adopted a precious baby girl from the Philippines.  Mandy Rose, founder of House of Rose lifestyle blog and co-founder of Marriage More, has led me on my own journey to be a better spouse. I have been inspired through her blog, which isn’t about making your marriage perfect, but to strive for the best marriage possible. I’m sure you all know that there’s blogs upon blogs written about marriage, family, and life in general and these women either have the shittiest lifestyle (excuse my French), or the most glamourous lifestyle. Well, hate to break the news to you, that’s mostly for attention to get more viewers… Mandy is the most realistic, down to earth person I’ve ever met. Met? Well, I’ve never actually met her, but I feel as if she is my best friend, through reading her blogs and following her journey on Facebook. What inspires me the most, is how dedicated she is towards her family. Family is #1 in her book! I truly live vicariously through her. I honestly never thought of adoption being and option for Bill and I. How could I possibly love a child who is not biologically mine, as if they were my own?! After following Mandy’s journey, I can honestly say that adoption could be and option for us. The amount of children all over the world that are living in orphanages is unbelievable. They need our help! Mandy started a fund to be able to assist the orphanage by selling clothing with the logo “Mighty to Save – Zephaniah 3:17.” They have raised over $12,000 that has already been donated to Dorcas House Orphanage. Absolutely incredible!  Mandy posted a short film of the orphanage their daughter was in, which left me in tears. No questions asked, that I would consider adoption after watching this video. Be prepared to have your heartstrings tugged at! 

 

I would love to hear your stories of adoption. Feel free to leave a comment! Here's the House of Rose blog, so that you can follow along in the Rose journey too! You will truly feel inspired! 

“Love more. Worry less.” – My new daily motto! I may just need to start making shirts with it! Who’s interested!!??

-Emily

So close.

The last two weeks have been utter chaos with driving to Harrisburg and Towson numerous times for tests and ultrasounds. My arms are bruised from being pricked so many times and my vajj feels raw! Sorry folks for the TMI, but these blogs aren't intended for those who judge. I am completely blunt and will continue to be. Why? Because this is MY story!

Moving right along.. You're probably wondering why so many ultrasounds when you're not even pregnant?!?! Because I have 40-some follicles, I lost a few (happy dance), and because I recently completed my period, now it's considered a science experiment in my eyes. Once a woman completes her period, ovulation typically starts on its own and releases an egg. Since I was diagnosed with PCOS, ovulation doesn't always happen for me and when it does, it doesn't always do what it's supposed to do... The frequent ultrasounds help measure the follicles that are growing. The egg is attached to the follicle wall. The follicle then ruptures to release the egg. Once released, it's then time to get down and dirty. Yep, SEX!!! Since I am early on in fertility treatments, Bill and I are hoping that "timed intercourse" works for us. The doctors feel it will, since there are no other barriers at this point. I must say, I was frightened Thursday when I went for my ultrasound and the doctor voiced concern about only having one follicle that was measuring 14.2mm. She was unsure if it was a cyst or a follicle. Today confirmed that it is a follicle and it is now measuring 16.5mm. In order to proceed with treatment, the follicle needs to be 18mm. Bill and I went to the Towson office today for more tests and I waited all day, for what it seemed, for the nurse to call with results and the next step. 2pm and the nurse called! I was pacing through the house while the nurse talked to me and I couldn't focus! All I heard was, "You'll need to come back tomorrow for more blood work and another ultrasound." I thought on a Sunday?? What do you mean? I'm supposed to be on vacation!? I paused... The nurse asked if everything was okay. I mentioned that Bill and I have already delayed our vacation two days, but we're fine with having to come down another day and we'll take our vacation another time. The nurse immediately told me she'd call the on-call doctor and figure something out. After two hours of waiting for a call back, the nurse called and apologized for the wait. She said I was cleared and able to head on vacation! However, she taught me the "trigger shot" via the phone! Ohhh my gawd!!!!! Although I work in healthcare, I am not a nurse and neither is my husband. I bet ya'll were wishing you were a fly on the wall then! Ha, this is going to be great! Bill who is somewhat of a worry-wart and scared he may hurt me, and then me, who doesn't necessarily like shots to begin with.. This will go over well! My first shot is Sunday evening between 6pm to midnight. Then it's on like donkey kong until Tuesday morning! (wink, wink) Oh, and I failed to mention what else I'm doing. At Thursday's appointment, the doctor mentioned that I have a thin uterine lining. So to fix this issue, I was prescribed estrates. Estrates are pills that I shove up my vajj to help thicken the lining. Estrates are estrogen hormones. Now mind you, the pill is teal in color. The first day I did this, I went on my merry way to work, had to use the bathroom, pulled down my undies and my undies were TEAL! I freaked!! No one tells you or demonstrates how to insert them... I thought I was doing it wrong, but come to find out, it was fine. Our bodies know what to absorb! I must say, it's amazing how the human body works. 

With how frustrated and upset I have been the past week, I just have to stop and thank each and every one of you. From the messages, texts, phone calls, in person conversations, etc., you all have blown me away from the amount of support you all have for Bill and I. I'll be honest, there's times when I wonder if anyone cares... well, it's absolutely amazing to me the friendships I've created from this experience to the long lasting friendships Bill and I have had from decades ago. Bill and I would not be where we are today without YOU. You all are incredible people! We love you all! Just remember, there are billions of people in this world and although we all suffer from something, we are not alone! This is just my story, what's yours? If you are struggling with something and afraid to open up and talk to someone about it, don't be worried, people can't help you if they don't know! 


You're amazing. You're one of a kind. Love you guys!! 
~Emily