Reality sinking in.

Vacation mode. Yes, I’m still in vacation mode, even with being home from the beach for almost a week now. I can’t get my body to “come back to reality.” I guess the reason being, I started Ovidrel AKA trigger shot. Ouch! Scariest thing ever when your husband who is a construction laborer and not a nurse, thinks it’s humorous to “play nurse” while injecting a needle into my lower stomach! The shot causes fatigue and a whole lot of other symptoms I will avoid mentioning. I took a nap each day on vacation! I was so excited to have the chance to chill out and do whatever the heck I wanted! I must say, I had an awesome time with MY HUSBAND. Recently, going to the beach involves other people, which is no fun when you haven’t had a vacation alone with your hubby in over 5 years. I could go on and on, but I should probably stop and move on… Kill them with kindness and smile! Ok, enough.

Since treatments started, there hasn’t been a whole lot of “action” with visits to Shady Grove. I will make a trip next week to take a pregnancy test. Yes, you heard right, drive an hour to take a pregnancy test. I keep telling myself that it’s all going to be worth it in the end. God has a plan!

I have been following a family who has 3 biological boys and within the past few weeks adopted a precious baby girl from the Philippines.  Mandy Rose, founder of House of Rose lifestyle blog and co-founder of Marriage More, has led me on my own journey to be a better spouse. I have been inspired through her blog, which isn’t about making your marriage perfect, but to strive for the best marriage possible. I’m sure you all know that there’s blogs upon blogs written about marriage, family, and life in general and these women either have the shittiest lifestyle (excuse my French), or the most glamourous lifestyle. Well, hate to break the news to you, that’s mostly for attention to get more viewers… Mandy is the most realistic, down to earth person I’ve ever met. Met? Well, I’ve never actually met her, but I feel as if she is my best friend, through reading her blogs and following her journey on Facebook. What inspires me the most, is how dedicated she is towards her family. Family is #1 in her book! I truly live vicariously through her. I honestly never thought of adoption being and option for Bill and I. How could I possibly love a child who is not biologically mine, as if they were my own?! After following Mandy’s journey, I can honestly say that adoption could be and option for us. The amount of children all over the world that are living in orphanages is unbelievable. They need our help! Mandy started a fund to be able to assist the orphanage by selling clothing with the logo “Mighty to Save – Zephaniah 3:17.” They have raised over $12,000 that has already been donated to Dorcas House Orphanage. Absolutely incredible!  Mandy posted a short film of the orphanage their daughter was in, which left me in tears. No questions asked, that I would consider adoption after watching this video. Be prepared to have your heartstrings tugged at! 

 

I would love to hear your stories of adoption. Feel free to leave a comment! Here's the House of Rose blog, so that you can follow along in the Rose journey too! You will truly feel inspired! 

“Love more. Worry less.” – My new daily motto! I may just need to start making shirts with it! Who’s interested!!??

-Emily

Don't Give Up.

Let me start out by saying, thank you! Granted, I only started this blog two days ago, but I am so grateful for everyone who views my blog. Why you might ask? Because you all are supporting me and everyone who has the same experience, whether you think you are or not. I am amazed at the amount of private messages I have received from ladies informing me of having the same diagnosis. It is helping me to accept the diagnosis and the struggle even more. 

Is 2016 the year? Maybe... I thought 2015 was, and 2014, and 2013, and 2012... I am not ready to accept "giving up." Everyone just tells me to stop worrying and to not think about trying to get pregnant. WHAT?! Who says that to someone whose mind is set on having the perfect little family? Let me just tell you, it's not that easy! Nor do I wish it was easy. As a little girl carrying around a baby doll, I always wished of having a child. It was one of the first conversations Bill and I had when we started dating. Having a child is so important to me, so before you start asking questions, stop, it's not a conversation you want to have with just anyone, even if you think you really know the person. Just so you know, I am happy for any woman who is pregnant. I'm okay with hearing your wonderful news. I just hope and pray that some day I will achieve the same. 

Infertility effects 1 in 7 couples. The most common cause of infertility is polycystic ovarian syndrome. I regret waiting over 4 years to meet with an infertility doctor, but I am also very thankful for physicians who specialize in infertility as they are the experts to provide a plan for us. I encourage every woman to have regular gynecology appointments and ask questions!  

So I've received the paperwork from the infertility nurse, status post the consultation from the doctor. It's all becoming so surreal. And the testing begins... for Bill and I! He's thrilled, let me tell you! At least his is just blood work since he's already been through the traumatic part of his testing, months ago. He's such a great support system through this entire process. I've read so many blogs by women going through the same, and have read that their spouse is not supportive. Ladies, if your spouse is not supportive of this process, stop! You can't go through this without the person you need the most. This obviously isn't something to do alone. 

Words of wisdom...

Jumping In!

Nice of you to come back! I decided to name the blog, "The Space Between." Why you might ask? I feel it's appropriate because of the unknown. I remember an old friend who always said my husband and my life was perfect - we had the perfect jobs, the best relationship and got to do a lot of fun stuff whenever we wanted. Well, I hate to break the news to you, but our life is not perfect by any means. We have daily struggles! No one ever knows what their life will be, what journey they decide to take in life, or even what barriers/hardships are thrown their way. For me, each day is a new day and I'll take whatever God throws me. I grew up a church girl going to Sunday School and when I became a teenager, I dreaded church... like most of you I'm sure. Now looking back, I regret not going as frequently. I'm thankful that in today's world with the technology we have, I can access church services via the web - awesome, by the way! With having this access, I have been able to become closer to God through prayer.

I recently discovered evangelist, Clayton Jennings. Talk about an inspiration! Clayton has helped me through the struggle of infertility through his love for Jesus Christ. I used to feel so alone, even when I'm surrounded by people who love me, but because I have opened up my life to Christ, I no longer struggle with feeling alone. I feel that with the relationship I now have with Christ, Bill and I are able to pass over the fear of infertility into God's hands. 

Let me ask you.. Where do you stand with Jesus Christ? Are you struggling with something that you feel you can't discuss with someone else? Do you feel alone? Open your mind and heart and let him in. It won't hurt! Remember, Jesus Christ died for you. 

Okay, enough of my preaching. I just like to #telltheworld! 

I'm excited to "jump in" and fill the space between! 

Welcome!

Welcome! I have been reading more blogs and watching more vlogs about peoples' lives that it has inspired me to write my own blog. As a child, I used to journal. I would write about anything and everything. Thankfully, no one ever "found" my journal. It would be cool to sit down and read them one day; now that it's been many, many years since I've journaled. 

So you probably are wondering why I've felt inspired to blog. Well, thanks to Roman Atwood and his family, his motto to "Smile More," has truly lifted me up, made me a better person, and have helped my relationship with my husband and God. I know, it probably sounds crazy... Roman brings out the positive in everything. Not having a good day? Just check out RomanAtwoodVlogs on YouTube. My husband and I are hooked! 

Another reason I have felt inspired to blog, is because every one of our lives is a journey - a unique, creative, individual journey. My husband and I have been together for 9 plus years, and married for 4 years 4 months. We want to start a family, but have been struggling. Let's face it, this is difficult for me to even write this for the whole world to see. However, the struggle has gone on for over 4 years, with very few people even knowing. The questions of, "When are you going to start to have a family?," "Are you guys ever going to have kids?," "It's your turn!," "What are you waiting for?" - the list goes on. Well you want the answer?? What we're waiting for is not just the right time, but for the doctors to find out what is going on. We've been through lots of tests and procedures and still no answers. Today we had our initial consultation via phone with our doctor at Shady Grove Fertility. Let me just tell you, it was a great consultation and we learned a lot. The doctor reviewed our medical information and spoke with us for over an hour. After discussing many fertility options and possible diagnoses, we decided to take the next step with a different fertility medication. With the possibility of having polycystic ovary syndrome, there's a lot that I need to do to prepare to change; such as eating habits, exercise, medications/supplements, and mental preparations. I feel like I should be feeling anxious, scared, devastated, or ashamed of the diagnosis, but there's no reason to feel that way. We have to stay positive and keep praying. God doesn't give you what you can't handle! 

Stay tuned! This is just a short glimpse, since getting started in the "blogging world."